Sunday, January 17, 2010
The woman who hates men!
In 1937 a little girl was born to abusive alcoholic parents, which was quite normal during the period, in a small Midwest town. This girl was subjected to a hellish existence that included physical and mental as well as sexual abuse by the age of 7.
Her mother divorced the father and quickly married another and soon a brother was born to this girl. The new father and the alcoholic mother doted on the boy and quite literally ignored the little girl. The boy received new clothes, toys and all the affection and the little girl by the age of 16 became pregnant and delivered her first of three children, a girl.
She was forced to marry the father (we will call him Carl) before the birth, again because it was the norm for the time. The new husband himself was an alcoholic and abuser.
The father wanted a boy, but had to settle for a girl. Since he already had planned to name his new son Carl, Jr. he decided on a variation of that name and called his new daughter “Carly”. The mother doted on her new daughter and reveled in the fact it was NOT a boy.
During the next three years, unhappy with the abusive father and seeking an escape from the torment the mother had an affair which resulted in pregnancy that she could not hide from her husband. The baby came to term (a girl) and was quickly placed into adoption as the father would never accept it.
Three years later she gave birth to a new baby. This time it was a boy and the father named him, as expected, Carl, Jr.
Then, just over a year later, she gave birth to another baby boy, but the father believed it to be another product of an affair. This baby, the mother named “Stefan” which was a deviation of the “Carl/Carly” names.
The mother knowing that the new arrival was a sore spot with the husband, refused to give this one up for adoption to make a point of defiance. This defiance was short lived and quickly came to a head when, over a meal in which the husbands mother-in-law and brother-in-law (who was home on leave from Marine boot camp in 1959) were in attendance.
Everything came to a head after the father became drunk and was brooding over the new arrival and left the room when everyone was on the living couch. When he returned he was holding an open bottle of acid and threatened everyone present with disfiguring burns. They talked him out of his rage but knew very well that another outburst would be coming. The wife had made a decision to leave her husband after an accident to the newest boy (who was less than one years old) fell down a flight of stairs and broke his jaw in 6 places?
Before she could make her escape, the father, in a ruse of reconciliation beat the wife in his car after removing all of the door handles on her side of the vehicle.
The police arrested the father and gave the wife her window of opportunity to escape. She packed up all she could carry and then left her two sons with the father’s family and took her only daughter to California where she quickly re-married to another abusive alcoholic.
The boys were stunned and upset to be abandoned by their mother. The new family (brother and sister in law of the abusive father of the children) treated the boys as slave labor on their farm and took exceptional interest in the abuse of the youngest boy (due to the fact he was not related to the father). For instance, when he could not find his bible for church services he was stripped naked and a tin can was tied around his waste and was forced to stand in a corner for hours and recite “I will never lose my bible again”. Before he was released from his punishment he was forced to walk the mile trek down their drive way to the rural road and fetch the mail.
After 7 years of a hellish existence for the boys their caretakers contacted the mother and demanded that she retrieve them. The mother sent plane tickets and they arrived in LA within the week.
The reunion of mother/sister was an even more hellish nightmare for the boys as the alcoholic step father did not even know they existed before the mother was forced to recall them. To make matters worse, the boy’s sister was treated like royalty (as she was only 4 when separated from her siblings) and the new arrival cut down on her attention from her mother and treated her brothers with contempt and scorn. She stood a full head and shoulders above her siblings and beat them at every chance and forced them to do her chores and forced them to take the blame for transgressions she was guilty of. Instead of accepting her brothers back with love she ruled them like a tyrant.
Then came the next shock when the alcoholic step father sexually abused the sister. The mother was in denial to the daughters claim until the situation became so untenable that she was forced to divorce the man.
She blamed the divorce on the lies of the daughter just as her own mother denied her when she informed her when she herself was being abused by her father.
When they reached the ages of 14 and 15 respectfully and up until their 18th birthdays ran away from home repeatedly to escape the torment of abuse and neglect. Both boys joined the military upon coming of age to leave for the final time.
Now, the mother is in her 70’s and living with her daughter and both have no contacts with the son’s. The mother is also living with the daughter of her daughter, who has two daughters of her own. The grandson of the mother is also living near but has two sons and is given no attention as all the grand daughters are lavished with it.
The cycle is continuing as the daughter and granddaughter have gone from one abusive relationship to the next in the fashion of the grandmother.